User blog:PixieLil/Undercover Boss: PSA HQ
Aka a parody of the Kylo Ren Undercover Boss thing Happy Herbert (in a terrible attempt at an announcer voice): Each week, we follow the boss of a major organization as they go undercover to find out what's really going on in their company. This is Undercover Boss: PSA HQ! Gary Somerville is the PSA's tech lead, and the second in command to The Director. Gary is going undercover among the PSA agents as Gareth, a rookie stelth agent. Gary enters, wearing a wig and a poorly fitting turtleneck sweater Gary: We get so caught up in keeping the peace on our island, that we miss what's going on behind the scenes. I'm looking forward to having some real talk with some real folks. Happy Herbert: We put hidden cameras in the coffee break room, and no one has any idea that "Gareth" is their boss, Gary. ---- Gary sits down at a table with Gracie, Pixie and Rookie Gary (in an awful British accent): Hi. I'm Gareth. I'm the new stealth agent. Pixie: Sup. Rookie: Hi dude that looks like G! Gary: Sooo... how do y'all like your jobs? Gracie: You know, work is work. Gary: Yeah, totally. What do you guys think of Gary?? Do you guys believe when he says he's going to change the world with his inventions? Rookie: Yeah, he's trying to accomplish something that's never been done in the history of the... well, history... You know? Inventing, That's like, so impressive, I admire the guy! Gary: Yes, exactly! Exactly! Pixie and Gracie exchange suspicious glances ---- Gary is sitting in Dot's office, wearing some sort of disguise Dot: Ok, Ok. It's real easy. All you got to do is pull this tab, and you can change into a rock, a snowman or a plate of sushi! Gary: So, pull this? Gary tugs on a tag with washing instructions on it Dot: NO NO NO! What's wrong with you? Why is it so hard for you to understand!? Gary: I-I don't know but can you please stop yelling at me? You're starting to make me nervous! ---- Gary: I have a new found respect for what my employees and co-workers do. ---- Dot: Gareth, hurry your ass up, I have an important meeting to attend! Gary:It's not as easy as I had presumed. The disguise explodes Dot: OI, YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT! ---- Back in the coffee break room Gary: Hey, have you guys seen Gary's Snow Trekker? Helmet: It's kinda lame.... Pixie: Yeah, it really is. And the seats smell like old coffee.... Gary: Not it's not, it's awesome! Here let me go see if I can find it. I'll show it to you! Gary runs into another room, and the sound of an engine starting can be heard Gary: *driving through a wall* Look I found Gary's Snow Trekker. Look at it up close! Gary parks right in front of Helmet Helmet: Dude, that thing looks dangerous. And poorly made, like a little kid made it. Gary: THEN YOU DON'T HAVE TO EFFING LOOK AT IT ANYMORE! Gary presses a button and the snow trekker turns into a rocket and crashes through the ceiling ---- Helmet: I'm 99% sure Gareth is Gary. ---- Gary and Raven are standing around in the HQ Gary: So, uh, how's... life and work and...stuff? Raven: This has been a really rough year for me. I lost my brother back in March. He was killed by one of Gary's inventions, when it exploded, and uh, I'm getting by. Gary: Oh man, I'm uh... sorry about that....Must be hard. ---- Gary: Hearing that Raven lost her brother, really struck a nerve with me... Especially since I'm the one that inadvertently killed him... ---- Later Gary approaches Raven outside the HQ Gary: Hey, uh, I ran into Gary in the bathroom. He told me to give you this. Gary hands Raven a card with rainbows on it Raven opens the card, and Avril Lavigne's When You're Gone plays Raven: (reading) Sorry I killed your brother, -Gary Gary: *wipes away a tear* I feel like complete and utter crap now... ---- In the break room Gary:So, my friend said he saw Gary in the shower yesterday. And he said that Gary had an eight-pack. That Gary was ripped! Pixie: WHAT?! Your friend's a liar, man. Gary's a scrawny, weak ass bitch! He literally weighs like 20 pounds under that lab coat. Charlie: Weak ass bitch doesn't even begin to describe him. I remember the time I snuck up behind him, the man screams like a little girl! Pixie: Hey, that's an insult to little girls! Charlie;'*laughing*'' Fair point! Gary subtly slips something into Charlie's cocoa and Charlie takes a sip of it Charlie: *''choking''* Pixie: Charlie? CHARLIE! Gary: *casually* Oh no, he's choking on cocoa... Pixie preforms the Heimlich maneuver on 'Charlie Charlie: How did one of Gary's Insta-Choke 3000 pills get in my cocoa? Gary: Gee, I can't possibly imagine. Charlie: *shrugs* Anyway, as I was saying. Gary is utterly pathetic! He can't do anything for himself. Even my 2 year old child is more capable than him. Honestly I'm not even sure how h- Gary suddenly leans forward and grabs Charlie by the front of his shirt Gary: You. Are. STUPID! *Gary shoves Charlie into a coffee machine and runs away, choking back tears* ---- Charlie: Dude, Gareth straight-up sucks! Pixie: That's what she said! Charlie: Get out Picksy. ---- Gary: I have a bomb-shell announcement to make, guys. I am not Gareth. I'm- Everyone: Gary.... Gracie: You're Gary... Pixie: You're my husband, we know. Gary: *pulling off wig* How long have you guys known? Charlie: I knew when you put the Insta-Choke 3000 in my cocoa.. Helmet: I knew when you almost hit me with the Snow Trekker. Pixie: I knew from "Hi, I'm Gareth." Honestly, you thought I wouldn't recognize you with that stupid wig on? Gary: Well... um... this is awkward... ---- Gary: So, today I learned that my co-workers think I'm usless. And that I've maybe been a bit of a jerk... Pixie: A bit?... Gary: ....Soo, honey... did you really mean what you said about me being a "Weak ass bitch"? Pixie: Maybe.... Gary:Damn it Happy Herbert: Join us next week when we go undercover at Chocolate's Charlie Factory! Charlie: I'm gonna use my undercover status to finally crack down on the Crackheads! Gary: I'll just warn them ahead of time. Charlie: This is why nobody likes you, G... Category:Blog posts